The fact is: I don't exist

Here it is. I have finally decided to answer the question: Do I, God, exist? And behold, I tell you: I don't.
What? You don't believe me? You think this blog is made by a human being pretending to speak the word of God?
Interesting idea.
Maybe all you religious people should keep it in mind the next time you read one of those ancient scriptures which you believe were written by a supernatural being... And after that, read Richard Dawkin's book "The God Delusion". I, God, command you to do that. Stop believing in me and start using your brains for a change.
End of divine transmission.

Undeniable Proof of my Existence

I have been asked by some of you, why don't you prove that you exist? Create something unexpected and wonderful, or abolish something truly evil. I thought about this for a while, and decided to do both both. I gave you the election results - AND the resignation of Donald "Good Riddance" Rumsfeld.
It feels so great to do something RIGHT for a change...

The Mote and the Pope

Sorry for the long delay, I have just spend a few very relaxing days at the restaurant at the end of the universe, and I had no time to take care of things on your planet for a while.
So, if sparrows still kept falling from roofs, it was entirely their own fault.
Anyway, I heard that during my absence this guy who is suffering from the delusion that he is my representative on Earth, felt the need to utter his opinion on a competing belief system. He said everything the Prophet Mohammed brought was evil "such as his command to spread by the sword the faith he preached."
Of course, my self-acclaimed representative has every right to criticize this behaviour, considering the fact that HIS believe system has been spread across your planet by nothing but love, compassion, reason and mutual understanding. And wasn't it Mohammed himself who said „I did not come to bring peace, but a sword."? Well, maybe not...

Lost in Space

Just in case you're missing a whole planet: Not my fault, this time...

Now, about those books...

Wow, I just checked how much stuff I'm supposed to have written during the ages: several bibles, the Quran, the Torah, a blog on the web and a whole series of conversations with me. I've read it all. Some of it is wise, some of it is boring, some of it is silly, quite a lot is downright insane. And hardly anything is funny.
Most of these books seem to agree on only one point: That all the other books are rubbish.
For God's ... well ... my sake, you really are the most gullible of all my creations...
In order to clear up the matter once and for all and to avoid further confusion about what I did and did not say, write or order, I hereby demand that from now on the following disclaimer shall be added to all of 'my' books:
"This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are products of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events or locales or persons or gods, living, immortal or dead, is entirely coincidental."
You will all agree that if I am the author, I can demand to include that disclaimer. And if I'm not, the disclaimer is even more true.

God Dog

People told me they don’t believe it's really me on that picture to the right. Some even hint at the possibility that this image might be a fake! These people wonder why I don't look human, complete with a grey beard.
Well, here are some major characteristics of me, God: I unconditionally love human beings, and yet very often do not understand what they are doing and why. I can get angry at men, but only for a brief moment and I am always able to forgive them, even after the most outrageous and dumb actions. I do not gather other members of my species and go to war.
Now look at these characteristics and compare them to the average human being. And then compare them to the characteristics of a dog. Do you still believe I created MEN according to my likeness?

EXCUSE ME?

Scientists: Cosmic blob biggest thing in universe
Now I'm really pissed off. That used to be MY record!